Walk with Others: Building You as You Build Series

Build with people..

Feb 25, 2024

New week, new letter! Hi everyone, welcome to our third and final letter on our building series. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, I’ve enjoyed reading your takeaways and writing this series as well. Last week, I touched on the importance of mentorship and partnering with others. If you missed it, catch up here.

Before we get into today’s newsletter—

🎥 Catch up on last week’s Unpacking with Lessons in Seasons:

Rhieme Recommends 💌

📚 Book Recomendation: Shoe Dog by Phil Knight —anyone who knows me knows I love all things regarding entrepreneurship and hearing the stories of founders. If that is you, read this! It’s perfect for anyone who desires to start their own business or venture, and what better read for our building series? It’s the story of the founder of Nike and it’s been such an interesting read so far.

Before we get into it—here’s a word of encouragment for you ♥️

Your season has changed, but can you see it? There are times when we may feel stagnant, as though we have been in the same position for months, maybe even years. But I’m here to let you know that your season has changed. A season changing is not based on what you see externally. Eventually the physical signs that a transition has taken place begin to show, but we need to first believe it before we have the ability to see. What you may have called fruitless or barren is going to become fruitful. And even as you wait to see the birth of the things you’ve been promised, let your words align with the season you’re entering. Though you may not see, speak as though you are walking in your promise, after all faith has never been about what we can see. Your time has come, begin to prepare and watch as lines begin to fall in pleasant places for you.

Now into today’s newsletter!

Walk with Others: Building You As You Build Series

📌 But first — listen to today’s unpack with Lessons in Seasons:

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Recognition in Relationships

When we speak on relationships, I believe a great place to start from is recognition. I believe that we encounter people for a reason. Some relationships are doors to new opportunities and seasons, but the question is can we discern it? What does discernment mean? The Oxford dictionary describes it as the ability to judge well. And it is so important we are able to do this. I believe it’s important we do not esteem people by their physical appearance but more so pray for the eyes to see people beyond their present realities. A lot of the time we bypass people because they do not look the part yet, or maybe they’re not well known. But who said we should only honour those who externally seem to have it all together? Honour everyone, regardless of whether you believe they have something to offer you or not. Even when you don’t know the purpose of a relationship, still show love and respect. Honouring people isn’t about flattery, I believe it’s taking time to acknowledge what an individual carries and truly showing appreciation for them. When we find ourselves in relationships where we are constantly poured into, I believe it’s important we ask ourselves, how can I sow into this relationship too? A practical way is actually asking people how you can serve them in the phase they find themselves in. Maybe asking our friends how we can love them better? How we can be the friends they need as opposed to the friends we think we need to be to them? These are just a few questions to encourage you to be introspective. But remember this, unexpected help may come from unlikely vessels —will you be able to discern and respond accordingly? Questions worth asking are:

Who is X to me, really?
What role does X have to play in my life and vice versa?

These are questions I believe are answered over time as we begin to journey with people and we see where we fall into the lives of others and vice versa. You may be wondering, how do relationships tie into our building series? Building has everything to do with others. Serving people within your sphere of influence, partnering and cheering the work of others and so much more. We cannot build alone, we need people. There are people whose wisdom and guidance could save us from years of regretable mistakes, some who could even cut short years of circling endlessly. Which is why I emphasised the importance of mentorship last week. If you missed it, read here. If you’re in the middle of wondering how to build these relationships, I’ll say a great place to start from is service. Look for how to partner with these people you admire, let your relationship build naturally and I’m sure at some point you’ll know when it’s time to ask. Sometimes you may not even need to ask, the relationships may take that form naturally.

Nurturing Relationships

As we build, it’s important we nurture the relationships we have around us, and pour into those we are journeying with. For example, you may have a team of people who you work with on a project. Have you considered how you can serve those collaborating with you outside of what they do for you? How can you support them in their lives as well? Of course the depth of our relationships vary and it’s important we respect boundaries. But, this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t look for ways to serve those who are under our leadership too.

And as we pour into others, let’s allow ourselves to be nurtured in our relationships too. This is something I have personally struggled with but I’m learning to not be afraid to ask for what I need in my relationships. It’s hard for us to experience the depth and love God has in store for us through people when we don’t admit we also need to be poured into. I believe there are people who pass through our lives who are instrumental to us fulfilling destiny and it’s important we are willing to allow people play their roles in our lives. Even in hard times, we need people. People who would speak truth over our lives, remind us of our identity, the importance of what we are building and so much more. I understand, sometimes we build these protective walls around ourselves and stay in the shallow end of relationships so we don’t enter into the deep where there is more risk. I know these walls may be due to previous hurt from past relationships or even people who you held in high regard, taking advantage of you, but can you choose to forgive and try again ? Yes it comes with vulnerability, honesty and stepping out your comfort zone but there are willing people who are ready to take care of you, will you let them in? Please let those walls down and allow yourself experience the fullness of the relationships you have around you.

This is honestly a day I will never forget. It was a beautiful reminder that investing in quality relationships will always bear fruit.

Assessing Our Relationships

Another aspect of nurturing our relationships that is crucial, is evaluating the relationships we have. It’s important we recognise that are we not meant to do life with everyone. The environments we have around us significantly impact on what we are able to produce. It’s the same way a seed cannot grow into the plant it’s meant to be if it’s not in fertile soil. It’s important we acknowlege when it’s time for us to let go of relationships that have run their course. Rather than fighting for what has served it’s purpose. If we hold on longer than we’re meant to, we could force ourselves to remain in soil that is no longer fertile for us and could impede our growth. I understand it’s definitely hard when relationships end or dynamics change, but these days I’m learning to be grateful for the experiences I’ve shared with others, while recognising that sentiment shouldn’t be why I choose to remain in relationships. Some of you reading this may actually find yourself in a place where you realise you’ve built your worth and identity based on your friends and it feels like without them, there’s no you. This is not true. People are an addition to the people we already are, and I encourage you to be courageous, take the necessary steps required to change your environment and let God guide you. Remember this, sometimes the separation you are fighting is exactly what you need to accept for the new phase of life you are walking into. Choose quality over quantity in relationships, depth over breadth, they’re certainly worth the investment.

As we wrap up today’s newsletter I truly hope you are encouraged to build with others. No man is an island and we need people. Of course, guard your heart, there are levels of access in relationships. But don’t mistake suspicion for discernment and allow fear rob you of beautiful relationships. Help can come from the most unexpected places, stay expectant and have an open heart. As we bring our building series to an end, I hope you’ve gained one or two things on building. And if you’ll like to read more on friendships, read here, I unpack some more in the newsletter linked. As always, share your thoughts with me below and I’ll see you next week!